Some Guidelines for Aspiring Writers
- Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
- Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
- Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
- One should never generalise.
- Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Eliminate commas, that are not necessary.
- Never use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
- Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forward
- use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know."
- Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
- Proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.
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